Just Say No, kids

You know when people tell you that you should never, ever leave a foreign bar with two guys you just met to get drinks and pot in their apartment? Turns out they're totally right.

Because that's what me and my friend Anabel did on Wednesday and I seriously almost got bored to death.

They were nice enough guys. A talkative one who wanted to practice his english because he's moving to Canada, and his somewhat shyer friend. When we got to the apartment there were two more, who were so paralysingly shy that they essentially spent the entire time we were there cowering in a corner, hiding from us, with our conversation and our hair and our boobs and whatnot.

But then the talkative one passed out. And the only other one who could actually speak to women said something which made my blood run cold. In broken english, he came out with

"I have travelled. I have been to Malaysia and Thailand and Laos. Would you like to see the photos?"

No, I assured him. That would be totally unnecessary. I told him how my best friend had been to those places on her gap year, and that consequently I have seen enough photos of the region to find my way around quite successfully should I ever be dropped unexpectedly in the middle of Bangkok (ok, this is a lie. But I would totally know what city I was lost in). And he nodded cheerfully and... started the slide show. He hooked it up to the tv and everything.

It would. Not. End. I swear. At one point, after showing me a photo of himself proudly holding up his target at a shooting range in Phuket, he wandered off and for a brief, glorious moment I hoped it was over. But then he came back, with that very target. He made me touch the bullet shell.

I don't care how good the shit they were offering was. Nothing is worth that.