Always A Wildcat!

So, I made it back to England for a few days this weekend, and I put my time to good use. Contacting my family? No. Doing any of the mounting pile of paperwork that I need to send to various institutions in the UK? Of course not. But I did manage copious drinking, a trip to Primark and, most importantly, to see High School Musical 3.

Seldom have I enjoyed two hours of my life more. It is quite the experience. And my friends Mel and KP felt the same way. Literally, it went went like this:

Opening shot of Zac Efron's intense and sweaty face
Mel: Ohhhh.. (begins laughing as silently as she can). He's not hot.
Me: Just wait
KP: Unconvinced

After inspirational sports speech the singing begins.
Myself and KP's shoulders are also shaking at this point.

V Hudge stands to sing about her belief in Zac's basketball prowess. Apparently, that's all he needs.
Me: Ha! Also, put your sneakers on
(Also, the first of many squawks of laughter escapes the only other group of people in the cinema who do not have a preteen with them)

First of MANY love ballads begins in a treehouse. V-Hudge utters the immortal line 'I'm looking at you and my heart loves the view'
Mel: That's... That's just the best lyric I've ever heard. I'm so using that in real life now
(Incidentally, she did go on to make it her facebook status, and somebody actually asked her permission to use it as a lyric. When she explained it's origin he went off on one about how he hates HSM and X Factor and the commercialisation of music, and accused both of being fixed. I am not entirely sure how this accusation applies to HSM. Also, he clearly admires the somewhat retarded songwriting they employ, so whatevs. Anyways, I digress)

Sharpay enters
Me: I love her. I love everything about her. I love A-Tis.
KP: Shut up
Me: OK

The 'English' girl is introduced
KP: Best. Accent. Ever.
Mel: I'm going to start talking like that all the time.

After every costume change in Sharpay's big number
All three of us: Ohhhh.. I need one of those. Seriously, how have we survived this long without sequined unitards?

During a spectacular rooftop dance sequence
KP: Wait... this feels normal. Oh my God, my sense of reality has been completely distorted. I'm totally acclimatised.

Zac wears a super tight tux and humps the air during the prom song
Me and Mel: HA!
KP: OK, not entirely acclimatised...

Ryan and Kelsi have 'chemistry'
Mel: What? Is he not gay?
Me: Well, it is Disney
KP: It's enough to ask me to accept that Efron' s straight. That man has being wearing pink pants for half of this film.

Tiny Zac and Chad emerge during highly homoerotic song
KP: Excellent.
Me: Yeah... That is actually kind of adorable.
Mel: Look at that one's hair!
(Loudest squawk yet from the back of the room)

Zac and V-Hudge eat chocolate covered strawberries in a vaguely erotic fashion
Me: OK, they MUST be doing it.
Mel: Seriously. Actually, maybe he is kind of hot...
Me: Told you!
KP rolls eyes theatrically.

Zac and Chad share boy style emotional talk
Mel: Heh. Man.
Me: I know, dude.
Much snorting all round whenever either man or dude are used for the rest of the scene. Which is pretty much exactly once per line.

Zac removes his shirt with his back to the audience
Me: Yay!
Mel: Officially hot.
KP: Maybe...
Me: Hey! Turn around!
He puts on another shirt without turning
Me: Boo to you, Disney. I want gratuitous pec.
KP: That's what One Tree Hill is for.
Me: Fair. Carry on, Zac.

Zac appears in prom suit in tree (it makes a little bit more sense in context. Only a little)
KP: OK. (sighs) That is hot.
Mel: Wait... Did he just drive over a thousand miles in the truck that has really conspicuously not been working for the last hour?
Me: Yes. Yes he did.
Mel: Oh. OK.

Big final show
Mel: And then he drove back.
Me: Yes.

Zac proudly announces that he chooses basketball AND theatre at the University of California.. Berkley.
Mel: Are they even the same institution?
KP: And did Berkley just offer him a place?
Me: He is Zac Efron. He can attend every university in the world should he decide to. Simultanously. Just accept.

Zac tells us solemnly that 'Once a Wildcat.. Always a Wildcat'. Chad pumps his fist equally solemnly
Me (solemn fist pump): I am always a Wildcat
KP: Tard

Final Curtain. Lights come up.
Mel: I want to applaud.
Me and KP grin inanely in agreement.

Seriously. See it. I may go and see it dubbed into French - I suspect it might be even more fun!.